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Fall Writing Frenzy 2021

10/1/2021

18 Comments

 
I'm excited to participate in another fabulous writing contest! The Fall Writing Frenzy is hosted by Kaitlyn Sanchez and Lydia Lukidis! I chose a GIF from their blog that inspired me and wrote a story keeping to the 200 word limit. So many thanks go to my lovely critique partners and to the generous prize donors! Can't wait to read all the other entries! 
Picture
Photo Credit: Vino Li/Unsplash
Mama, the Moon, and Me                                                                            WC 200
By Dena Davis                                                       


Most nights when the sun slips into the sea, Mama tucks me in and sings. 
But one night she whispers, “Let’s go watch the moon.” 
Snuggling on our porch under cozy quilts, I pull out my notebook. 
I color a bright, shining, silver circle. Mama hums as I draw. 
A few nights later we look.
A sliver of moon is missing! 
“Mama, what happened to the moon?” 
Mama smiles. “She’s changing, but she’s still here.”
On a rainy night, we look out the window. 
Half our moon is missing! 
“Is she hiding?”
“In a way,” Mama says. 
One night our moon is a chomped cookie! 
“Who ate the moon, Mama?”
Mama laughs. “She’s changing again, but she’s still here.”
We look on the darkest night, but she’s gone! 
“Where did she go, Mama?” 
“She’s changing, but she’s still here.”
I color a black page. 
Will I ever see our moon again?
One cloudy night I spy a shimmering sliver peeking out. 
“She’s here!”
“Yes! Even when you can’t see her, she’s always here.” 
Mama pulls me close. 
“Just like me.”
Each night our moon grows bigger and brighter until…
One starry night I color a bright, shining, silver circle again.  


18 Comments
Charlotte Dixon link
10/1/2021 03:48:29 pm

Beautiful! Love the Layers. So much heart and emotion. Good luck!

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Dena Davis link
10/1/2021 04:40:19 pm

Thank you, Charlotte!

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Laura Clement link
10/1/2021 05:49:31 pm

Just, simply, lovely! Good luck!!!

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Dena Davis link
10/1/2021 09:57:34 pm

Thank you, Laura!

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Guitar
10/2/2021 07:54:22 am

Delightfully sweet story. Good luck

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Dena link
10/3/2021 08:37:20 am

Thank you!

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Bridget Magee link
10/2/2021 11:41:31 am

Such a sweet story. I especially love the phrase "our moon is a chomped cookie". Well done! :)

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Dena link
10/3/2021 08:37:48 am

Thank you so much!

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Dana Marie Miroballi link
10/2/2021 08:03:27 pm

Very touching. Nicely done.

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Dena link
10/3/2021 08:38:14 am

I appreciate it!

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Kelly Swemba
10/2/2021 08:31:20 pm

This is such a sweet story!

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Dena link
10/3/2021 08:38:34 am

Thank you, Kelly!

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Melisa Wrex
10/3/2021 06:01:22 am

A good story starts when everything changes, yours started in just the right place. And a semi-refrain with the changing/still here phrase. I like it. Nice work, Dena. :-)

Reply
Dena link
10/3/2021 08:41:43 am

Thank you for the specific feedback, Melisa! I enjoyed how this story evolved as I wove in changes inspired by critique partners. I'm new to writing picture books, and contests have been a great way to commit to words on the page! :)

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Kim-Hoa
10/3/2021 09:12:34 pm

Dena, that is such a sweet and beautiful story between mom and child. Made me teary. I love your action words and the sweet feelings you conveyed with dialogue. I love this, Dena! Beautiful job! Good luck to you and thank you for sharing ❤️

Reply
Dena link
10/18/2021 09:11:02 am

Thank you, Kim-Hoa! Sweet and kind words!

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Karyn Curtis
10/4/2021 08:03:24 am

This is lovely! Well done!

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Dena link
10/18/2021 09:11:23 am

Thank you, Karyn!

Reply



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    About the Author

    I am a mom to two sweet and lively boys and live in Santa Barbara, California. My oldest has Cornelia deLange Syndrome. He fuels my passion for advocating for equity and inclusion wherever I go. I love the power of a good story to inspire, educate, and make change in our world. 

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